So a little more about me! I am a mother of 4. Bailey my first born is 25, William 20, Blake 14, and then Alina is she 12, I am her bonus mom:)
I got married at the young age of 20 years old the FIRST time, he is the father of my 3 beautiful children.
We met at the age of 16, I was smitten , totally in love. Lets just say from 16-20 I had every sign NOT to marry him, he cheated on me several times before we ever got married, but I was so in love. I wanted him more than anything. For years I truly worshiped the ground he walked on, he broke my heart over and over and over again, it actually brings tears to my eyes just thinking about all the times. From the age of 16 -30. I loved him with every inch of my soul, begging inside for him to love me the way I loved him. BUT… when I hit 30 , I literally remember thinking I will not live like this forever. I never felt like a priority to him, I felt like I annoyed him most of the time. I won many trips being a hairstylist and I wanted him to go so bad but he never wanted to go. So one trip to Vegas, I put myself in a not so good situation, I was at a bar in Vegas and a guy approached me, and he thought I was beautiful, I remembered thinking I only wish my husband would look at me that way. I woke up the next day in dis-belief of what I had done. I cheated! ME? Did I really just do that? I couldn’t believe the way I felt, disappointed, ashamed, disgusted, sorry, the emotions went on and on. I was lost, I wanted attention and love so badly that I just decided to go elsewhere to get it. Even though I knew he had done it to me, I always said to myself Michell two wrongs don’t make a right. Long story short, my conviction ate me alive to the point I told him during a conversation that he told me he was sleeping with a girl on the west coast, funny thing is I felt so bad for him, that I wanted him to feel better, and I wanted the guilt to go away so I said “ I cheated too” the phone went silent for a minute, and then he said “WHAT I held you on a Pedestal.” I thought oh really ? Anyway basically after I told him it was never about what he did again, I just basically gave him a reason to keep cheating. The love that I had for him most of us have experienced, but I do not believe that is the love God intended us to have. ❤️❤️ Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not self-seeking , it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth, It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trust, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS!
1corinthians 13 4-8